We always tend to be aware of everything the little ones are doing in the house. With what purpose? Well, by preventing them from harming themselves, reaching objects they shouldn’t or falling down the stairs, etc. But although all this would mean great physical pain, we must also protect them from internal pain. For this reason, there are a series of phrases that hurt a lot.
Although we usually say them unconsciously, we should try to fury don’t get over us There are phrases you shouldn’t say to children because they heal and cause a lot of emotional damage. If the situation is beyond us, we must ask to ask and prevent it from happening again. Next, we’re going to explain a series of sentences that you need to write down, in order to cut them out of your vocabulary and never say them to your kids again!
Phrases that hurt your children: ‘You are like your mother/father!’
Using this rule on your child will not only help you know that what they are doing is wrong, it will also make them feel like they inherited it from one of their parents and should not be held accountable for their actions. It also tells your child about the grievances you have with their other parent, which can make them feel a bit divided. Instead, try saying, “I’m not happy with x because x.” Because otherwise the comparisons will come to light and always in negative terms. Which makes them feel unwell at all and stick with that negative part of the sentence.
‘I told you’
This is the last thing anyone wants to hear when something goes wrong. Yes, you may have been right about what you warned your child about, but comforting him instead of throwing him in the face will make him more open to talking to you in the future. It is to insist once again that those around him knew that moment of reproach would come, except for the stakeholder himself. It seems like it’s the quintessential expression of absolute failure and that’s how the smallest of the house can feel. Something we don’t want to happen because we need them to always have a high self esteem. Instead, you can say something like, “I’m sorry this happened, but you’ll learn from it.”
‘Learn from your brother’
It’s an expression that the vast majority of us have heard at some point. Because those who had no siblings had to listen to the comparison with cousins or best friends. Something that undoubtedly made the listener very sad. It’s always been said that comparisons are detestable and that a sentence like this couldn’t have hit the nail on the head. They can cause certain rivalry in addition to lowering self-esteem as he can suffer if told to. If they are compared to a sibling or someone else, they get the feeling that they are not enough. Instead of, don’t try to compare your child with others to convince him to do something.
‘I will punish you’
It’s true that it’s one of those phrases we can say when other ways don’t work for bad behavior. That is why when we are really tired or angry, these kinds of words will come out of our mouths. But if we think about it, they will only generate more fear. Which leads to them eventually doing what we want, but because they are afraid of us. It is definitely not what you want in your family life. On the other hand, if we say it and don’t stick to it, the children also believe that there are no real consequences, but that the generation of fear continues to play the main role. those of: If you don’t behave, you won’t have a birthday present! You always gave him something when the day came. This form of blackmail makes no sense at all. So try to give more real solutions and practice by example, because we are your mirror.
‘When I was your age I smoked/drunk/drugs’
It’s not always best to tell your kids about certain experiences because they may think they’ll apologize for the consequences if they do it themselves. The “but you said x when you were my age” will always bother you again. Instead, try talking to your kids about the effects of smoking, drinking, or taking drugs. So remember that it’s fine to tell them about your puberty or adulthood, but try to make it completely different details or events than the ones mentioned.
‘It’s just a white lie’
Once kids are familiar with the term “little white lie,” they think it’s okay to do it all the time. Instead, try to explain when it’s okay to use lies for the sake of being polite and not hurting someone’s feelings, before the lines between lies and petty white lies blur for them. We must always make it clear to them that the truth goes everywhere and that lies have very short legs. So it’s no way to get in. Whether pious or not. One of the sentences to clarify thoroughly!
‘I’m sick of you’
It is true that a boy or a girl may exhibit behavior that makes us tired, for example because they are not paying attention to us. So our anger can increase enormously. But when we come to a sentence like this, the impact on the little ones in the house is brutal. Because for a few seconds they feel like they’re worthless, that we’re really making them suffer, and this is quite a significant impact. So we need to control the anger and speak to it clearly. You can tell them you’re fed up with the situation, but not with them.
“You are mean, foolish, useless…”
All these insults should be out of our vocabulary. Because when we really think about it, they are words or phrases that have a very negative connotation and destroy the self-esteem of any boy or girl. These will believe that they have all those traits and instead of changing, they will adopt them because their mother or father told them to. So, we need to focus on what they need to change, tell them what they did wrong and help them make that change with different alternatives. Starting with the positive things, we will always have a better result.
‘Don’t cry, it’s not that bad’
What if it’s for them? Who are we to curb their feelings? We already know that there are little ones who are more sentimental than others and this is not a bad thing, quite the contrary. We need to show them what they think and if they need us, let them know that we will be there with all our support. Only in this way will we make sure that they do not hide their feelings, because they are used to letting them out and that no one will blame them.
‘Study or you will achieve nothing in life’
The problem with numbers has always caused a lot of arguments with parents at home. For this reason, when the tension got into the notes, expressions like the ones mentioned were very common. What made the sadness double: for the words and for the notes. The boy or girl will feel inferior and really worthless. Therefore, we must reinforce learning, help them achieve it and look for other alternative ways. How many of these sentences have you said at least once?
#Phrases #Hurt #Kids #Mothers #Today